When was the last …

I don’t usually re-blog. But this one is different.

Fragmentz is someone whose blogs I have been following for some time, her faith in God despite all she has been through, is inspiring. The blogs themselves can make me angry, or fill me with hope, or inspire me, or make me cry. Mostly cry.

This is one of the latter.

I am including my thoughts on what Fragments has written in and among the words of her blog. You should be able to work out whose is saying what, to make it easier, my part is black.

Over to Fragmentz…

May 29, 2013

A few years ago I spent the night praying. AND I wrote 2 things. I’m reposting/blogging them tonight because I have a sense of needing to. And a sense of needing to re hear the words myself too.
I think Part 2 is the most important tonight. 
 

when was the last ….? – Part 1

Stop … just for a minute …

 

When did you last say ‘I love you’ to someone?

Anyone ? … a friend? Your family? Jesus?

 

When did you last say ‘I love You to Jesus’

When did you last speak to Him?

When you last pour out your soul to Him?

When did you last tell Him whats on your mind?

 

Why not try it now …

 

He loves You! He is waiting …

 

He is waiting to hear from you … He wants you to talk to Him … He wants you to pour out your heart to Him

 

He longs for the day when all is surrendered

He longs for you to stand before Him, in prayer, in worship. He longs for you to come to Him.

 

He is stood with His arms open wide, waiting to embrace you … To surround you with Love, Grace and Mercy. He wants to shower you with blessings after blessings.

 

Stop …

Praise Him,

Worship Him,

tell Him how much You Love Him!

When was the last time I told God I loved him? If you don’t count the words of a liturgy or a hymn or a song in a worship service that that would be a long tome ago. It’s not that I didn’t mean what I was saying when I said those words or sang those songs, I tend to shut up when I don’t believe the words I am singing. But no, I haven’t chosen to say I love you to God when the words were my own. But I meant it meant it, really meant it, sincerely meant that I love God when others chose the words for me.

It’s probably over seven years. Seven years from the accident that left me with a limp, and a stick to walk any meaningful distance. Seven years of struggling with not being healed, seven years of mixed emotions about God, but a lot of anger.

What sort of God would heal one person and not another? What have I done to deserve this? Am I a worse person than those who have been healed? What makes this worse is that I know God heals, I have witnessed people being healed through the prayers of others, through my prayers, I have even received healing myself. Yes God can heal – that is the one constant thing through these seven years.

God can heal, but he doesn’t. What kind of evil, capricious God would not answer the prayers for healing if he had the power to heal. How can a God who arbitrarily heals one person and not another be a God of love. This is a struggle I have lived through, and I can’t help anyone else in this, we all have our own struggles, yours may not be the same as mine.

But I have learned to love God again. Instead of looking at Jesus the healer I started to look at Jesus the saviour, the God who gives not healing but himself. And I started to change. I started a transformation from being Steven the victim to becoming Steven the survivor.

But back to Fragmentz …

when was the last ….? –  Part 2

When was the last time someone said to you ‘I love You?’

 

Stop ….

Listen …

Hear the voice

 

Maybe it’s the smallest, faintest sound.

Maybe it’s a whisper, blowing in the wind,

Maybe it’s a loud bang, so loud it hurts your ears,

Or maybe, just maybe it surrounds you in the every day noise.

 

Have You ever stopped to listen? … to hear …?

 

Try it now …

 

What do you hear? What do you want to hear?

 

Don’t be scared, or afraid.

 

Listen to Him say ‘I love YOU’

 

Surround yourself in the whisper, the wind, the loud bang, the everyday noise. Listen to Him saying ‘I LOVE YOU’

 

YOU are LOVED

YOU are PRECIOUS

YOU are VALUABLE

YOU are FORGIVEN

YOU ARE HIS CHILD!

Whoever you are, wherever life has taken you, whatever you’ve done …

 

Just stop, and listen …

 

Listen to Him saying

 

‘ I LOVE YOU’!

Wow!

Thank you Fragmentz for those words.

God understands our suffering, he lives with us in our suffering, he suffers with us. The cross isn’t just about our bout our sins being forgiven, though it is about that, there’s a lot of healing to be found in forgiveness, but it goes a lot further than that.

The sins that Jesus took upon himself were our sins. But it’s more than that. The pain he suffered was/is our pain, the anguish he suffered was/is our anguish, his trauma was/is our trauma. So that when we suffer now Jesus suffers with us.

And I have started to love God again, and I have begun to accept the love of God again the great, terrible, wonderful cross shaped love of God. Lord God I love you.

I have a long way to go yet. I have stopped hating God, but I have not stopped hating the world. I am still angry with the world which lets bad stuff happen. The world that God made, the world that Jesus has redeemed, the world that the Bible tells me that God loves.

God walks with us through our suffering, what a great and wonderful God… and it still hurts.

-o0o-

A link to Fragmentz blog.


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