An autistic man’s guide to buying underwear
No picture this time, that would not be fair to the fainthearted.
I am touch-sensitive and light-sensitive. The upshot is that some things that other people would shrug off I find distressing. Too much light and flickering light are triggers, walking past stained glass windows with sunlight coming through can be bad, fan blades that go across the light are always a problem.
Church is my big problem. They go out of their wat to have a good friendly buzz during post-service coffee times. To most this is a good thing: To me anything but, it is difficult to talk to someone when you cannot turn off the conversation behind you. I do not need to evesdrop, I hear everything, but as too much information is arriving at once, I take very little of it in. A lot of the time there is nowhere to escape the noise and be quiet. Splitting into groups to discuss or pray is not good for me either, I can always hear the other groups which prevents me from concentrating on the one I’m in. Churches are often the worst places to be autistic.
But I mentioned touch sensitivity. Most people get dressed in the morning and then go about their day oblivious of their clothes. I am not one of those people, I am always fully aware of what is touching me, and the more sensitive the body part the more I am aware. Please do not touch me without my permission. A hand on the shoulder is invasive, a hand on the shoulder that tries to spin me round in order to share the peace in church… Just what was he thinking? Assaulting someone then saying, “Peace be with you,” how can that be OK? Yes, It did feel like I had been assaulted.
If you are of a sensitive disposition, stop reading here.
Touch sensitivity in a gentleman, of course, has to come round to a gentleman’s most sensitive parts and buying the garments which contain them. Going commando is out of the question, especially when wearing jeans; those seams are rough. Underpants are a must, but why are men’s underpants early always made from fabric which mostly is rougher than that a woman’s undergarment is made from? Why, when you hold up gentlemen’s underpants up by the waistband are they flat fronted? I know they are stretch material, but even so who wants their sensitive bits squished. Pouch fronted undies are required, and not readily available at a bargain price. Calvin Klein, I salute you, but unfortunately, they do come at Calvin Klein prices. Fake Calvins come with tailoring to suit the price.
The solution means the internet, and time spent looking at the crotch area of models to check on the fit. Followed by the calculation as to whether the fit will be the same on someone who is not an underwear model with six pack abs and pecs that can crush walnuts. The fit is not the same, allowances have to be made.
After allowances, I have found a place that I find good and which sells comfortable underwear. WARNING: Link shows a male underwear model.