God’s own county

When started mekkin’ t’universe, it were a reet mess. And it were dark. And God’s spirit were lurking ovver t’watters.

God said, “Let there be leet.” And as he said it there were leet, just like that God were chuffed wi’ t’leet he’d med, so he separated t’leet he’d med from t’dark; he called t’leet day and called t’dark neet. That’s what he did on t’first day.

Then God collected all t’watters into one place and separated it from everything else, and God called where there were no watter ‘Eaven. And that were day two.

Yorkshire rocks
Yorkshire rocks

The God said, “Let dry land appear.” Like befower, as soon as he’d said it it were there. So God called the dry land Earth and called t’watters seas, and it were grand.

Then God said, “Let there be plants wi’ seeds and trees wi’ fruit,” and plants appeared, all sorts of ’em. God was chuffed wi’ this. That were day three.

Then God looked at t’eavens he’d med a couple o’ days back and said, “Let there be leets in t’heavens, so we .” So ‘e med leets: A reet grand on to rule t’day and a smaller one to rule t’neet. ‘E med stars too. A God put t’leets in t’eavens to rule ovver daytime and neet-time. Amd it were grand. That were day four.

Then God sez, “Let t’watters swarm wi’ living things and let birds fly across t’eavens.” You know how it is by now, If Gos sez it it ‘appens, and so it did. The seas were full of fish and great sea creatures, and the skies wi’ birds; all different sorts there were. That’s what ‘appened on day five.

Then God said same sort o’ things to t’earth, and all sorts of animals appeared, from t’big beasts to creepy crawlies, Loads and loads of em. God were chuffed wi’ this.

Then God says to ‘imselves, “Lets mek some fowk that’s like us. Someone to look after all we’ve med.” So that’s why God med people, all of ’em men and women alike. So ‘e med all t’fowk, and told ’em to look after every thing that there was. Then God looked at everything there was, and he was really, really chufed, it was reet grand.

Then God says to ‘imselves, “That was alreet for a practice run,” So he med Yorkshire. And it were perfect.

 


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