Hold on

Bloop bloop beep bloop.

synth

I’m listening to music on hold. A strange sort of synthesised sound that says nothing except. “This is music on hold,” sweeping me into a strange hypnotic state so that I begin to forget what it was I wanted to say or who I wanted to say it to.

It is a strange form of music, neither major nor minor but indeterminate in it’s structure. There is percussion, but nothing dramatic as percussion should be, just a repeated pattern which adds to the hypnotic effect, and gently beeping synthesizers. 32 bars done and it comes round again. Bloop bloop beep bloop. You are getting sleepy, you are getting……

Zzzzz…..

It is a strange sort of music, music which isn’t music. There’s no real hook to latch the mind on to, it just goes bloop beep bloop in the background. I am getting sleepy….

And then after weeks of hanging on it abruptly stops, “I’m sorry but the person you want is not answering. Thank you very much.” Like a hypnotist clicking his fingers I am back in the real world. Only ten minutes have passed, but it felt like weeks. It must have been the hypnotic effect of the music. I yawn and back to work.

I wouldn’t mind so much, but the company is a major record company*. With all that great music you have, is the best you can do for your phones bloop bloop beep bloop?

-o0o-

*Name omitted to protect the guilty.


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