It is the school holidays in the UK. A time when more people travel than at any other time of the year. There is something I want to say about travel.
I do not like flying.
In fact I am not a fan of travel at all. But especially not a fan of flying.
Do not accuse me of being afraid of flying. Flying is what I want to do to get to my destination, flying is fine.
I am afraid of crashing.
It starts at the arrival at the airport. What is the first word you see when you get to the airport, other than the name of the airport?
I don’t want terminal, I want survivable at the very least. Then there’s the safety talks with terms like loss of cabin pressure and crash positions. This is supposed to be reassuring, but don’t be fooled, these are reminders of ways you could die. They might as well say <stewardess voice on> In the event of turbulence the wings will fall off here and here (point at seats near the wings).
Air flight is one of the most amazing invention of man. What is even more amazing is that we have taken this amazing creation of thousands of tons of airliner travelling at hundreds of miles an hour through the upper atmosphere and have made it boring. The typical air flight for a passenger is a boring queue to check in, a boring wait for the flight. After the flight there’s the queue for passport control then the wait for your luggage: Boring. The flight is take off, 3 boring hours, then landing.
But boring is what we want. Boring is what we need. We do not want anything interesting to happen in a flight. Interesting things include an engine catching fire, undercarriage failing to come back down, plummeting in a fireball, as you can see these are less than ideal. Boring is good.
Have a happy uneventful flight.