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Who am I

There are times when all the world’s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
Please tell me who I am

The Logical Song by Richard Davies and Roger Hodgson

“Please tell me who I am.” Supertramp were not the first to ask this question. The Moody Blues had asked it in their song, Question:

But in the grey of the morning
My mind becomes confused
Between the dead and the sleeping
And the road that I must choose

The question of “Who am I” goes way back. 3000 years ago this was written:

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God. This is one of those scary prayers, We do not want God to know what is in our hearts. Which is pointless, as God already knows not just what we have done, but also our motivation behind doing it. Even the secret motivations that we try to hide from ourselves or explain away are known. (I suspect I am not the only one to have these.) God is not going to find anything new in our hearts.

The reason to ask God to search us is not so that God will know what we are like, he already knows, but that that what we are actually like in God’s eyes is revealed to us. It is a dangerous prayer because of what God might reveal to us.

It’s like moving house. We find lots of things to throw away, things we don’t need which we never got round to throwing away. God reveals all the rubbish in our lives, things we have never got round to sorting out. Even then it is up to us, we have the choice of keeping the junk or cleaning the house.

Are you feeling uncomfortable yet?

Actually, if you are a Christian there is no need to be uncomfortable. Having the junk does not condemn us. The psalmist in the quote above, King David, committed adultery and murder, yet he was still called a man after God’s heart. We need to ask he Holy Spirit to reveal to us what there is in our lives that needs cleaning out. God our Father is a loving God who cares for each and every one of us. God wants to forgive us, because forgiveness is in the very nature of God.

El_Greco_-_Cristo_en_la_cruz
This is what forgiveness looks like.

Father God, you love each and every one of us. Search us and know our hearts.
We are sorry for all those things we know of that keep us from you and are holding us back. Reveal to our hearts that of which we are unaware, those hidden sins and those things we are not aware are sins. We ask this because it is in your nature to forgive, because you are a loving God, a forgiving God.
Amen

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