Happy Trains – a satire

Created with Microsoft Fresh PaintOnce upon a time, and a very happy time it was too, there was a happy country called Ingerland.  All the people of Ingerland were happy, because the happy Ingerlander government kept them happy. They even gave their government departments silly names, such as Commons Select Committee, which kept the people amused wondering how something that was common could also be select.

Now the country of Ingerland had trains, lots and lots of trains. They had so many trains that it had lots of companies running the trains, but the track was not owned by the train companies, that would be far too sensible in a country that keeps its people happy by doing things the silly way.

The track was run by a company called Network Fail.

Network because they controlled the network of tracks.

And Fail because no matter how hard they tried, fail is what they always did.

And the boss of Network Fail was a Mr Carnage. So called because that was what he inevitably caused.

Now the people of Ingerland were all happy — Well they were nearly all happy. One group of people were not happy. These were the people who travelled on the trains.

The trains cost a lot of money to ride on, which made the people sad, and the trains were often late, or did not come at all, which made the people sadder.

Now the governing people of Ingerland, a mixture of the Confusative Party and the Laughable Democrats,did not like the Ingerlanders to be sad. So they asked Mr Carnage to come to a meeting of the Commons Select committee. This confused Mr Carnage, as he was neither common nor select.

The day of the meeting started, all the governing people were ready for Mr Carnage to arrive.

They waited.

They waited.

They waited and waited.

And then they waited some more.

Where was Mr Carnage?

Eventually Mr Carnage got there. His train had been delayed.

Poor Mr Carnage was not happy.


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