9 years

Happy ninth birthday to walking with a stick.

Happy ninth birthday to having pain all day, everyday.

Happy ninth birthday to waking in pain (sometimes earlier than I wish), and going to sleep in pain (often later than I wish).

But life is good. There are a lot of people in a far worse condition than I am. A bit of pain, even chronic pain I can deal with. It wasn’t always so, I have found coming to terms with my moderate lack of mobility testing at times, and as a consequence I have been very testing to others. Sorry about that.

I have questioned the very nature of God. How can a good God allow suffering? It’s a shame for me to admit, but it was very self-centred of me to ask this. Something happened to me and my reaction was, “Why me?” I’ve seen people struggle far more than I have and never screamed at God on their behalf, but my little problem. Well…

So what sort of God will allow us to suffer? Either as a result of an accident, or of a natural disaster like the cyclone which has recently hit Vanuatu. My answer, inadequate as it is, is a God who walks beside us in suffering. A God who identifies with humans so much that he took on a human form, suffered, was assassinated in a totally painful and humiliating way. And a God who motivates people to get alongside those who are suffering.

To some this will mean giving money to those suffering in Vanuatu. To some it will mean going out there long or short term to help with medical help or building. Others will not go or give, but will be dealing with things close to home. Comforting the suffering, bringing God’s word of encouragement to those who are about to give up.

In my case there were just one or two people who said the right thing at the right time. What they said came to me as a word direct from God.

To the rest I say this: I have been very testing, I still am to some degree. I am sorry, forgive me.