Bath time

Breathe deep.

Take a deep breath through your nose, hold your breath and savour the aroma. Now breathe out.

That is the scent of a blogger who is freshly bathed in Radox.

RadoxThat’s not just any bubble bath, that is Radox MEN muscle therapy bath soak.

That is right, MEN, uppercase MEN. this is a product for real men. You can tell it is for real men, uppercase MEN, because it says it is a bath soak, no mention of bubble bath. It does foam the water, but the words bubble bath are too childish or effeminate sounding for uppercase MEN. Hence the dark red colour and burgundy lid – it has to appeal to uppercase MEN.

So run the bath. Pour the Radox MEN liquid under the running water. See the water start to foam and turn the most manly of all colours:

Pink

That’s right, pink. But as this is for uppercase MEN it must, surely, be a manly pink. Any idea that it looks like baby girl pink cannot be true, can it?

And soak. Relax. Let the ingredient do their job, which according to the front label are black pepper and ginseng.

Hang an a minute, I am a man not a lasagne, I don’t want someone to eat me. On second thoughts … Hmm …

Sorry, my mind was wandering then.

But what are the real ingredients, turn the bottle around and there is a list. In order of size. This is the scientific bit, feel free to skip the list if you don’t do science.

  • Aqua. That’s right, water. There is more water in the bottle of something that is added to water than anything else.
  • Sodium Laureth Sulfate. A foaming agent. Despite the label I told you this was bubble bath
  • Cocamidoproplyl Betaine. Despite the scientific name this is a natural product, Made from coconut oil. another foaming agent.
  • Sodium Chloride. Common salt
  • Hydrocerus Undatus Fruit Extract. Dragon fruit juice. This is an ingredient that sounds manly to me. Why this is in the small print and not on the front label is beyond me. An uppercase DRAGON would appeal to uppercase MEN.
  • Panax gingeng root extract. What it says.
  • Sodium Lactate. Made by fermenting sugars from corn or beets. If you have been in hospital this is part of the food they deliver in a drip.
  • Polyquaternium-7. Hair fixative (good, frequent washing is not good for hair. This in bubble bath and shampoo is to prevent overwashing resulting in hair loss. Alas, as far as my head is concerned, it is too late, call me cue ball.) and environmental toxin (not so good. And I have been soaking in it,).
  • Glucose.
  • PEG-40 hydrogenated castor oil. It sounds natural, it is after all castor oil. Wrong. The PEG-40 in front means it is synthetic, which is good, because the sourse of castor oil, castor nuts, contain ricin, which is not nice to bathe in. In this case natural is bad, synthetic food ex is good.
  • Parfum. perfume, not specified, but I smell good.
  • Propylene Glycol. Vegetable glycerine.
  • Trideceth-9. No, read again, that is trideceth, not try death, though it could be.is is toxic in large quantities. Fortunately this far down the ingredients list the concentration of this foaming agent will be very small. For your safety I’ll add a warning – Do not drink bubble bath.
  • TTrideceth-9. No, read again, that is trideceth, not try death, though it could be, this is toxic in large quantities. Fortunately this far down the ingredients list the concentration of this foaming agent will be very small. For your safety I’ll add a warning – Do not drink bubble bath.
  • Lactic acid. The stuff that forms in your muscles.
  • Sodium Benzoate. Found naturally in plums, cinnamon, ripe cloves and cranberries. Not only do I smell good, I smell Christmassy.
  • Potassium Sorbate. A food preservative. With all the food extracts in this product and the long expected shelf life of cosmetics this will be needed.
  • Caramel.
  • Coumarin. A perfume extracted from the tonka bean
  • Limonene. Extract of lemon rind, a degreaser.
  • Cl 16035. AKA Allura red, a food and cosmetic dye.

With all that black pepper, ginseng, salt, coconut, vegetable and citrus extracts I am now nicely marinated. Time to pop me on the barbecue.


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