It is that time of year again, as St Valentine’s day approaches when the advertising media focuses on love. Sorry, not love, sentimentality.

See what I mean? (And as a Yorkshireman I have to declare those roses are the wrong colour.)

The main thing I dislike about St Valentine’s day is the way that it excludes single people. It is OK not to be in a relationship, really it is.

The other side of the media definition of love is that it is about physicality. This is the most dangerous thing. The idea that it is important to gratify yourself physically within a relationship, or worse outside it, opens the door to abusive behaviour. That is not love, it is a denial of love.

Love always, yes always, focuses on the other person.

Romantic love starts with something which does not sound very romantic, commitment. It is commitment to a person, and wanting to do your very best for him or her. And from this commitment everything else. Forget the negative tone of the beginning of this blog, There is nothing wrong with a little sentimentality and definitely nothing wrong with physicality in a loving relationship. But these things, good as they are, are not the focus.