The BBC has announced the new presenter for Top Gear, following the departure under a cloud of controversy of Jeremy Clarkson. Mr Clarkson's replacement is to be MasterChef presenter Gregg Wallace. The parallels are obvious. Both programmes had a revamp with a more shoutier presentation style, MsterChef in 2001 and Top Gear in 2002, an both …

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The other Oscars

And the award for the most ironic performance at a presentation ceremony goes to ... ... Jennifer Lopez. For tripping over her frock when going to present the Academy Award for ... ... best costume design.

Hold on

Bloop bloop beep bloop. I'm listening to music on hold. A strange sort of synthesised sound that says nothing except. "This is music on hold," sweeping me into a strange hypnotic state so that I begin to forget what it was I wanted to say or who I wanted to say it to. It is a strange …

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